Margaret Thatcher, Empty Cow

Margaret is almost certainly not pregnant.  Evidence?  Well, for one thing (duh) there is no calf.  Even I have come to believe she has some hormonal surge going on which causes her to "bag up" but which will not result in anything other than increased vet bills.  Take a look:  This all started when, on November 6th, I had the vet's trailer come here and we loaded Margaret up so she could be taken to the hospital and spayed.

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But the vet sent her home without performing the surgery.  "Your cow is pregnant," he said.  My fences were secure and the neighbors' fences were secure, so Margaret had no way we could think of to have carried on an affair with Rowdy, the handsome bull across the road.  Love will find a way, though and  I was thrilled, thrilled.  A calf!  Woo hoo!  It was a mystery, but what a wonderful mystery.   

Being mathematically challenged, I was expecting to see a calf early in the new year.  Not to be.  Not in the early spring, either.  Steve, our neighbor, and Harmon, our friend -- who together probably have 80 years of cow experience, consulted and thought Yes she's pregnant, or No she's not.  Maybe she's cystic.  No harm in waiting. And Mary's been talking to her father in New York, who is a dairy man from way back.  We've had so much good advice. 

A cow's gestation time is 283 days or 9 months. If you figure from November 6th when the vet estimated she was about "four or five months along" and allow for another five months, that would put it at about the end of March.  About now.  But then you look at Margaret and she really doesn't look pregnant, except for that udder.  See what I mean?  She could do a few turns at a titty bar and earn enough in tips to offset her hay consumption.  But she seems to retain her girlish figure -- her stomach remains tidy, not large as it would be with an 80-pound calf in there, although from some angles...

I asked the vet who had originally said she was pregnant if he is SURE.  He said he's done thousands of these and yes, he was sure.  He pointed out that since November she could have miscarried and I wouldn't necessarily know it.  I'm skeptical.  For one thing, we are up there feeding her every single day.  I might miss the actual delivery of a miscarried fetus, and the coyotes could have carried it away, but I would certainly notice something.  And wouldn't her udder eventually diminish in size?  Harmon and Steve said that if she were cystic it would explain the going into heat so often and would also account for her unladylike behavior in trying to hump poor Bubba the steer, and would also account for the enlarged udder.  So.  We'll wait a couple of weeks to be certain.  And then she will have the medication to eliminate the cysts and we'll take it from there.

I was thinking to allow another few weeks and then try to have her spayed again to avoid the discomfort for her and for us when she went into heat irregularly and noisily.  Joan, Harmon's wife, who is the director of the Livestock Advisor Program at WSU Extension, wrote to the director of the vet school at WSU and asked about my Margaret.

Dr. Parish,
One of my Livestock Advisors has a pet  5 year old Holstein "heifer" that she would like spayed to keep her from cycling. Though large, the heifer  is not obese. The owner has been turned down by one vet and another said it would be done like a DA surgery. Is the benefit worth the risk, and do you perform this often in Pullman?

And Dr. Parish graciously took the time to answer: 

Joan - I would be very reluctant to spay a 5 year old cow.  Most spays (removing the ovaries) are done in heifers generally less than a year of age.  At that time the blood supply to the developing ovary is really minimal, but in a 5 year old cow the blood supply is much greater.  And since the surgery to remove the ovaries is blind (can not see what you are doing) since the approach is through the flank or even vaginally and hard to bring ovary to incision site it is very easy to get a bleeder.  Leave it to say that many adult cattle have bled to death in association with removing their ovaries.  Hope this helps.  - Steve
Steven M. Parish DVM

Joan forwarded that note along with one of her own:

Catherine,
Here is the expert answer you were looking for from Dr. Steve Parish at WSU Veterinary School of Medicine. The risk of your cow  bleeding to death following surgery sounds too great. If he is not willing to perform this where they have the latest and best equipment and knowledge you certainly would not want a vet in the field who doesn't have the support of the "hospital" to try.
Funny though - Harm said yesterday she looked more pregnant to him again - udder a bit larger and vulva like it was changing...........so hold on and  who knows, maybe the miracle birth will happen!
Joan

So here's my girl Margaret, with some of the most educated cow experts in the world paying attention to her.  Today we don't think she's pregnant.  And I am sad, sad.  The thought of a little new calf had me dizzy with delight.  I wish it were so.